Wednesday, October 7, 2015
When I married my husband in June of 1971, I had just turned 19 the month before. We couldn't get enough of each other. We were best friends, soul mates, and I trusted him with my life. We had magic between us, really, as well as one big problem. I was not orgasmic.
This bothered my husband, because he wanted to make me feel good, and neither of us understood why that didn't seem to be possible. Oh, I enjoyed having sex with him, very much! But the frustration of building up arousal without releasing it was confusing, embarrassing, and sometimes actually painful. We tried using a vibrator, but since it could take a good hour to be effective (during which I would just become numb), this wasn't the answer for us. We hadn't been married very long before I had my first "nocturnal emission" (wet dream). It was the most incredible thing I'd ever felt.
The religion we'd been raised in taught that masturbation was wrong. I know that for many women the entire topic is forbidden. But nothing occurs in isolation when it comes to the body. Everything is hooked together and tied to everything else. These muscles, nerves, veins, organs, all the blood, etc..., everything that conspires to give a woman an orgasm is also needed so that she can go to the bathroom, or in order to become pregnant.
Tricks Your Body Can Do
I had no idea what an orgasm felt like, how to achieve one - nothing. What I think now is that my body was already so messed up and on it's way to prolapse, it couldn't function properly. After all, if you touch yourself, or your partner touches and enters you, you should feel something down there. If someone tickles you, do you not laugh? If someone pulls your hair, you yell "ouch"!
At that time, it was very hard to research this problem. This was way back in the 70's, and as you can imagine, what little information I got from the book stores informed me that it was all in my head. Recommendations included looking at/watching pornography, fantasizing about the neighbor, using a sexual surrogate, whatever. Most of this advice was distasteful to me.
There was no real help, but, at least I learned enough to make my husband a very happy man! Then, somewhere along the way, if I did use the vibrator, I began having painful orgasms. This went away shortly after I began doing the Doozie, so you probably already know what I'm about to say to you. That it's your own, functioning muscles, nerves, veins, etc... that are there for the very purpose of orgasm.
Is it possible that if your lady parts are in their proper place and working order, this would all be effortless and automatic? More like a man's trustworthy penis?
You remember I told you about my knock knees? And, about how I couldn't spread my legs very far, and, all the trouble I had doing the Butterfly stretch? Well, right after I do the Doozie, Hero, Half Lotus, and Butterfly stretches, my knees are straight, my legs slim and long, like they were years ago. Then muscle memory, or whatever, sets in and they go back to being noticeably bowed. But, ever so much better now. I don't nearly faint anymore when I see my knees in the mirror. I'm getting better all the time, my sweet darling. I hope you are, too!
So, ever since I've been doing these stretches, the area between my legs (down there:) has become tight and smooth. Back when I wrote my Most Amazing Thing letter to you, I said, " After doing the doozie and pigeon pose for a couple of months, I noticed that my vulva was different. Strikingly so. All my life, when looking at myself in a full-length mirror, I could clearly see myself "down there". Now, it's pointing downward. I hope you can understand what I'm saying, without me getting more graphic. It has moved! Furthermore, it no longer looks like it belongs to me! It's appearance is very different."
The very different thing is something I read later when I was doing research for the My Stretched Skin page -
* Enlarged, wide, and gaping vaginal opening - This is a common symptom of a vaginal vault prolapse.
Not only was my vaginal opening stretched wide, my labia (vaginal lips) were enlarged and hung down. I was so embarrassed to tell anyone this, but so determined to tell women that they didn't have to go and have surgery to make their vagina pretty! Here is what I read on one site about this surgery -
"Other possible risks include; bleeding, infection, possible breakdown of the stitches and/or scarring around the labia and/or need for more surgery. Since the top of the labia is connected to the clitoris, be sure to ask if the clitoral hood (skin covering the clitoris) will be affected. Sometimes there can be scar tissue that may make future sexual activity painful. Additionally, it’s possible that the results may not be what you expected. It’s important to follow your health care provider’s instructions after your surgery to lower the chance of any of these complications from happening."
I've already told you about my miracles. Well, this is one of them. After a lifetime of feeling inadequate, now when I touch myself down there, I feel all sorts of interesting, pleasurable things! When I look at myself there with a hand mirror, it's so different I can't believe it. I'm amazed at how tiny everything has become. Like it's not really me.
Ok, so this information is taboo and forbidden and does not interest you in the least.
Right? But, just so you know that there is hope.
This stretching thing blows my mind. All my life, I've been so active. I loved long walks, gardening, dancing all night at clubs. Plus, I was young! Yet, I couldn't very easily void my bowels, couldn't have healthy sex with my husband, couldn't get the weird sounds out of my head, had to endure horrifying, heavy, painful periods, etc., etc., etc...
Now all I gotta do is stretch! See, it's like I told you before, your muscles are all waiting for you there. They love your body. Go stretch them!